Articles - Parenting - A Parents Role In Teaching Their Children Good Anger
A Parents Role In Teaching Their Children Good Anger Management by:
In this article I write about a parents role in teaching their child
good anger management skills. How many times have you been shopping in
for example a supermarket and witnessed an over-aggressive parent shouting
at their child? This is exactly what not to do, that parent is giving a
very bad example to their child in this example.
It is very important that we act as good role models and set good examples
for our children. Two bickering parents who are constantly at each others
throats or shouting orders at their children to be quiet for example, relays
the wrong message to that child. If that child then has problems controlling
their own anger, it should hardly come as a shock to their mom or dads.
A calm house is a happy house. Both parents are going to argue and have
their differences, however they need to be adult enough to wait to discuss
their issues once the kids have gone out or are in bed. I am aware that
this is not always easy to carry off, but if both parents are in agreement,
it can be achieved.
I am a parent myself and am certainly not a perfect dad. I actually
kind of cheat as I have a bribing system in place. I have told my children
that all I expect of them is to try their best, as long as they do this,
it does not matter what grades they achieve. Two years ago my step-daughter
who is now twelve started to play up, especially at school. I was quite
shocked when I attended her parents evening to find out that she had not
handed in her homework, that she had made little effort in the past couple
of terms and that she had been disruptive to other members of her class.
To say I was unhappy with her is an under-statement. I was very angry,
however told her that I did not want to speak about it until we arrived
home. This was my way of controlling my own anger. When we had arrived
home, I stated to her that I was upset about what I had heard and informed
her that if she had done well, I would have bought her anything that she
wanted, up to a certain amount of money. She was quite shocked by that
and stated, even the England football kit. I said that I would have but
that she was not having it now. I did however agree that if she did well
during the next few terms, that I would.
She has never looked back since, but my bank manager is not happy with
the situation. We also have a weekly bribe. If both of my children behave
during the week they can choose a toy of their choice on the Saturday,
again within reason. If and it often happens they do not deserve the toy,
I have no need to become angry as they just do not get the reward. This
makes them annoyed. but teaches them a huge lesson.
You may think that I am cheating but it works for us and we live in
a very happy, chilled out house.
In conclusion, it is important to act they same way that you want your
children to. If you are always angry and aggressive, they are also likely